What Separates Friends?

by Dale Harcombe | More from this Blogger

14 Apr 2008 09:14 PM

When we think of what can separate friends, we might think of time and distance, or busyness or family. But listen to what the bible says can separate friends. Gossip!

'A perverse man stirs up dissension and a gossip separates close friends,' Proverbs 16:8. Or this one, 'He who covers over an offence promotes love but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends,' Proverbs 17:9.

Gossip to our friends about another person, or about our friends to a third party, is a betrayal of trust. Proverbs 11:13 tells us 'A gossip betrays a confidence but a trustworthy man (or woman) keeps a secret.'

If you've ever been the victim of gossip, and I guess most of us have at some stage of our lives, you'll know how hurtful it can be. Those harmful words bury themselves deep. We find it hard to forget - harder still to forgive. 'The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to a man's throat,' Proverbs 18:8.

So if your friend tells you something in confidence, it is because he or she expects you to respect that confidence and keep the matter to yourself. Do not be like the person descried in Proverbs 20:19, 'A gossip betrays a confidence.' We are warned therefore to steer well clear of the one who 'talks too much.'

Another interesting point about gossip is that an adverse situation or argument is fanned and fueled by gossip. 'Without wood a fire goes out; without gossip a quarrel dies down,' Proverbs 26:20.

If we want to be a real friend we need to not only watch our words but also the manner in which we speak. 'Like a madman shooting firebrands or deadly arrows is a man who deceives his neighbor and says, "I was only joking," Proverbs 26:28-19. Too often words spoken in jest carry an element of truth.

And while we're talking of our manner of speech, what about sarcasm? I find sarcasm a particularly hurtful form of jest.

So if we want to be true friends we need to avoid gossip and watch the manner in which we speak.

Bible verses from The New International Version

Please visit these related blogs

What affects friendship?

Christians and gossip -part 1

Careless words

Learn more about Dale Harcombe

Dale has a passion for books and writing. She writes in various forms, from articles to poetry to fiction for children and adults.

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