What Are You Teaching Your Children About Anger?by Dale Harcombe | More from this Blogger 11 May 2008 04:13 PM Recently we've been looking at anger and how to deal with it. What are you teaching your child about anger? Look at Proverbs 15:1 and we find that 'a gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.' We need to not only watch our words but also the manner in which we deliver them, so we do not incite anger in others. This is true in parenting, as it is in a marriage relationship and in our churches. Years ago I went with my daughter's school to Canberra and to Parliament House. As we sat in the public gallery while parliament was in session, the children saw adults yelling, interrupting each other name calling, jeering and venting their anger. One child said to me 'They're just like children.' Indeed they were - behaving like two year olds throwing tantrums. Or take the example of parents on the sidelines at children sports. If you've listened to some of these parents, (and it's hard not to, the way they yell) for some the point is 'win at all costs, no matter who you've got to knock out to do it.' I encountered this attitude and violent comments once from a mother and that was during a game of junior cricket! 'People learn behaviors or modify current behaviors by observing someone else doing it first' page 9 of The Competitive Edge- how to win every time you compete says. So whether we like it or not, we are an example - for good or for bad, for showing love and compassion or for showing anger. What sort of example does it give children to see parents, politicians, movie stars, sports stars getting angry and attacking each other verbally as well as sometimes physically? This explains why children from abusive homes often grow up to be abusive parents. Because it's what they've seen modeled. But before we point the finger at anyone else, let's look at our own responses. How quick are you and I to respond in anger if another car cuts in front of us in traffic, if we do not get what we want, if our children embarrass us or misbehave? What about if our partner does not do something they have promised to do, or is not as supportive as we would like? Or suppose someone pushes in at a checkout, or if a friend betrays our trust? How do we respond? Let's deal with that anger in an appropriate manner and confess it and bring it before God for His help in dealing with it. Our anger will not help the situation. It will usually only make it worse. A case of two wrongs don't make a right. I remember a song we taught years ago in the children's program at bible study. 'Be careful little ears what you hear, be careful little eyes what you see, be careful little mouth what you say, be careful little hands what you do,' etc. Those words are helpful not only for children but for us. Where will our children learn appropriate behavior if we don't set the example? Please visit these related blogs What are you teaching your children? Learn more about Dale Harcombe  Dale has a passion for books and writing. She writes in various forms, from articles to poetry to fiction for children and adults. Relevantchristian tags User Comments No comments on this article yet. Be the first to comment! Community Tags anger, abuse, Example, modeling behavior, parenting Discuss this article
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