Surviving the Holidays with Dysfunctional Family: Going Home with the Right Heart

by Melissa J | More from this Blogger

10 Nov 2006 01:42 AM

Hopefully your visit with family brings new light to those who don't yet know Jesus. I really sincerely pray your family is intrigued by what is "different" in you. This has always been my hope for my husband and me as well. I really feel if I hadn't been a Christian, there would really be no in point visiting certain people. I know the Lord was encouraging us to press on and pray. He wanted us to trust He was with us. We never left families' homes without something to pray for.

There is a time to say enough is enough. In doing so, there might be some intense backlash. Continuing to engage yourself with those who are abusive toward you is not always the right option. You have better things to do than deliberately turn yourself into an emotional punching bag for the enemy through the words and actions of bitter or heartless people.

After years of underhanded actions of a few family members, a young married couple spent many nights in prayer coming to the revelation; it was time to be done. They wanted certainty that stepping back was the right thing, and that both were on the same page. Since contact has come to a halt, they've been able to forgive. Forgiveness doesn't come with amnesia though; they will always be cautious of several family members' character for their well being and the well being of their children.

Speaking of children, consider the benefits and risks of such dysfunctional gatherings on them. If there is going to be unhealthy behavior or bickering among adults, is this an environment you want you children in? In my opinion, your immediate family's best interest needs to be priority.

Whether you make a choice to attend a gathering or not, here are some Biblical scriptures to think about. Some might justify your reasons for saying "enough is enough," and some might encourage you to keep shining:

• "Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all sins." (Proverbs 10:12)

• "'Be angry and do not sin': do not let the sun go down on your wrath, nor give place to the devil." (Ephesians 4:26-27)

• "You are of God, little children, and have overcome them, because He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world." (1 John 4:4)

• "A man of great wrath will suffer punishment; for if you rescue him, you will have to do it again." (Proverbs 19:19)

• "Make no friendship with an angry man and with a furious man don't go. Lest you learn his ways and set a snare for your soul." (Proverbs 22:24-25)

• "Now I urge you, brethren, note those who cause divisions and offenses, contrary to the doctrine which you learned, and avoid them. For those who are such do not serve our Lord Jesus Christ, but their own belly, and by smooth words and flattering speech deceive the hearts of the simple. For your obedience has become know to all. Therefore I am glad on your behalf: but I want you to be wise in what is good, and simple concerning evil." (Romans 16: 17-19)

• "But know this, that in the last days perilous times will com: For men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, unloving, unforgiving, slanderers, without self-control, brutal, despisers of good, traitors, headstrong, haughty, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having a form of godliness but denying its power. And from such people turn away!" (2 Timothy 3:1-5)

• "Reject a divisive man after the first and second admonition; knowing that such a person is warped and sinning, being self-condemned." (Titus 3:10-11)

• "And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we don't lose heart." (Galatians 6:9)

Part 1: Preparation

Part 2: Tactless Comments and Rude Behavior

Scripture references are quoted from the NKJV.

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