Search Results for: blog intimacy in marriage

Intimacy Impacted by Chores?

So what’s the secret to strong intimacy in a marriage?  Apparently it’s when a couple fulfills the more traditional roles of chores. Now keep in mind that although the results of this study were recently made known, it was conducted back in 1992.  So there is the strong possibility that today’s results would be different. The study showed that even when men took on some of the chores traditionally taken care of by females (such as laundry, cleaning, cooking), it was good for the marriage but it didn’t really impact intimacy.  However, things get better when men stick to the … Continue reading →

5 Topics to Discuss before Marriage

How many couples do you know take the time to discuss money, children and other important issues before they get married? Maybe you jumped right into marriage without seriously considering some of these life-impacting issues. If you or someone you know is considering tying the knot, here are five topics that you should discuss before walking down the aisle. It could save a lot of conflict in the future. The first is children. Do you both want children? Nothing is more devastating than a couple getting married and one expecting to have children but the other one dead set against … Continue reading →

Improving Intimacy

I felt challenged recently to write this blog. The web content company that I work for has some new assignments for me, lifestyle articles. I am used to writing about the law, so this was a great opportunity to write about something different. When my editor was describing the content, she said, “Think Cosmopolitan.” Okay, I haven’t picked up one of those magazines in ages…probably a good 20 years. Thankfully I was able to opt out of certain topics that would make me uncomfortable but we had an interesting “discussion” via Skype on whether that magazine really holds any water. … Continue reading →

Marriage with Benefits

I can’t recall the context in which I heard it but not too long ago the phrase “friends with benefits” was mentioned. I had to stop and think about that for a moment. What I do know about this terminology is it means to have sexual relations without any ties. But I decided to look it up in the urban dictionary for more information. Specifically, it means to not only have a sexual relationship but to have it without being emotionally involved. I suppose this can happen but I find it difficult to believe. Deep down inside there must be … Continue reading →

Withholding Intimacy in Marriage

Have you fallen into the trap of withholding physical intimacy from your spouse when things aren’t going your way? Do you ever use it as a bargaining tool or as a punishment? This is destructive to the relationship in so many ways. Sex can bring a couple together, both physically and emotionally, like no other act on earth. When each partner participates with love, with a desire to share with the other person, and with the intent to make it a meaningful experience, it can be an amazing balm to the relationship. The husband and wife both feel more peaceful … Continue reading →

Do You Schedule Intimacy?

I’m not talking about making time for your spouse. I’m not talking about keeping your romantic relationship a top priority. I’m talking about setting a day on the calendar when you plan to have sex with your spouse. I kid you not, I know people like this. They literally have sex on Monday and Thursday nights right after the husband’s favorite television programs are over. I am, quite frankly, agog at this notion. Okay, I can see that in some ways, for some people, it might work. Maybe their lives are super hectic and that’s the only night when he’s … Continue reading →

Weathering the Seasons of Marriage

We go through different seasons in our marriages. Some of them are pretty enjoyable, like the carefree days of summer or the excitement of new things in the spring. But then we also go through seasons where it gets a little more challenging. Here in Wisconsin fall can sometimes feel more like winter and then the snowstorms come and well, it’s kind of bleak and barren. Those are the most difficult times in a marriage. I really, really dislike the unpleasant seasons of marriage. They seem so long; once again I have to compare it to the winters we experience … Continue reading →

When Intimacy Isn’t a Good Idea

Men have needs, and women have needs, and most of the time, those needs coincide and the intimate part of their relationship runs smoothly. But there are times when one or the other partner is not able to be intimate. She may be experiencing a severe case of morning sickness or the stomach flu. He may have thrown his back out on the job. There may be an instance of erectile dysfunction, although for the purposes of today’s blog, I’m speaking more specifically about injury or illness. Whatever the cause, physical intimacy is not something that can always happen, and … Continue reading →

Privacy vs. Secrecy: How to Foster Intimacy in Your Relationships

Information really is power; how, what, and when to share can have a far-reaching impact on our ability to foster intimacy in our relationships. It is almost a rite of passage, for instance, for a new couple to explore one another’s past—first loves, first kisses, and even the first big heartbreak. These conversations both require and build a significant level of trust, as they reveal how we act and react at our most vulnerable moments. So what does it mean when your partner refuses to share? It can mean many things; the problem, of course, is that we often assume … Continue reading →

The Language of Intimacy

It’s no secret that men and women communicate differently. This applies to their intimate needs just as it does to every other aspect of their lives. Are you and your spouse communicating openly about your desires? A husband may tell his wife she looks beautiful, and to him, that’s a sexual overture. When she replies with, “Thanks, honey,” but doesn’t follow up with additional romantic actions, he feels as though he’s been rejected. She didn’t mean to reject him – she thought she was accepting a compliment. Perhaps she curls up next to him at night and puts her arm … Continue reading →