Are you prepared to say 'No?'

by Dale Harcombe | More from this Blogger

23 Nov 2007 09:28 PM

Sometimes being a good parent means saying 'no,' sometimes it means disciplining a child. But as a columnist, Jo Boole, in our local paper pointed out on Friday it seems parents have forgotten how, or are frightened of, saying 'no.' As Christians we should realize that saying 'no' is part of being a good parent. Look at the example we have of our Heavenly Father. Sometimes God says 'no' to us, because what we ask for is not in our best interests. Sometimes God has to draw us aside and discipline us, Hebrews 12:7-11. Should we treat our children any differently?

We do our children no favors by always giving in to them. Years ago someone in my extended family got whatever she wanted. The word 'No' did not exist in the vocabulary of her parents. One day she confided to me that all she wanted was for her parents to show her they cared by saying, 'no.' In her mind the fact that they give into her every whim, meant they didn't care.

When our son was 16 he got upset, when we wouldn't allow him to go to an all night party with alcohol after his school year 10 formal. The legal age to drink alcohol in Australia is 18. It's one of the few times he got really upset with us, because all his friends were going. Our decision made us unpopular for a time with him, his mates and some parents. Despite unpleasantness, we stood firm. He went to his year 10 formal but not the party afterwards.

Years later, when our daughter reached a similar age, we went through the same hassles. This time it was her upset with us, as her friends were allowed to go. Her brother turned around and said to her how he'd resented not being allowed to go at the time. But later, with the added wisdom of years and hindsight, he realized we had made the right decision. It's great feeling when you hear your adult children reaffirming that decisions were made in their best interests.

It's not easy to make an unpopular decision but sometimes as parents that's exactly what God requires us to do, Deuteronomy 8:5. How else will our children learn?

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Learn more about Dale Harcombe

Dale has a passion for books and writing. She writes in various forms, from articles to poetry to fiction for children and adults.

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